Hello!

My name is July and I am a 22 year old biology graduate from Poland. Recently, I moved to France to start a new life with my partner that is French. We are both queer — I am a non-binary lesbian and she is a transfeminine lesbian, which is why it is important for me to stay away from my home country.

Today (October 28) I am reaching out for support to raise about €1700 for a full dental treatment that would completely change my life. Previously I did not have proper dental care and now I have to deal with the painful consequences.

My story (shortened)

I grew up in a poor and unsupportive household where at first I did not learn how to take care of my hygiene properly — since we had very little money, my parents didn't want me to waste water on excessive care. Currently I do not have a habit to take care of myself, I always have to remind myself to take a shower, wash my face, do skincare, brush my teeth. Usually, it is my girlfriend that helps me with it. I experience chronic pain daily which makes me unable to do simple tasks as even standing for too long causes me pain. During the day, I fall asleep from exhaustion even if I do not do anything and so if it wasn't for my partner I would keep sleeping without brushing my teeth.

When I was a teenager, my mental health problems started. I felt constantly suicidal, I started starving myself, I had no support except for internet friends that were also getting "tired" of me. I reached out for help from my mom in my worst moment — when I was planning my suicide. I managed to get a depression treatment and start a simple therapy. It was also when my mother took me to the dentist to treat some of my teeth for the first time since my early childhood (the last time I remember going to the dentist was when I was about 10). She still blamed it on me that I did not care for my teeth and I should have known better.

Just at 15, I had my first root canal treatment. Because of an undiagnosed eating disorder and bad hygiene my mouth was full of cavities. All the treatment I got back then was done very cheap, with insurance, and without any anesthesia. It made me traumatized of the dentist office, ashamed and scared to seek dental help in the future.

After many years I managed to overcome my fear and go to a private clinic where I got a rtg scan of my wisdom teeth hurting inside my gums. The dentist noticed that I have a lot of cavities and although he was very friendly, I managed to only get one tooth done (the one from the previous root canal treatment years ago). It was already very damaged, a part of it was crooked, and I had to get an expensive composite filling to cover it, as it is my fang. Luckily, I didn't have to get my wisdom teeth extracted. The doctor noticed as well that I have a severe periodontitis which was scaring me even more to find another dentist. My gums were easily bleeding so treating my cavities could not have been done so easily.

A year later, despite improving my hygiene, I end up with even more dental issues. I experience pain every day. I never smile with my teeth, if I laugh, I cover my mouth or I hold it shut. Being ashamed, since my front teeth are rotten as well, I try to hold it back. Until I have more money, until I am stable in life to get a proper treatment, with anesthesia, from somebody empathetic and gentle. But those times never come.

A month after I moved out from my home country seeking a better life for myself, I am still left with no job. My partner that I live with manages to work as a tutor and she has some help from her parents. Suddenly, I got the worst toothache of my life, and I felt it throbbing all over my jaw. I know it is from the tooth that broke a few months ago and I did not treat it — I was waiting to be in a better place to do it, after graduation, when I have more free time. Even when it hurt, I let it, as I have a high pain tolerance. I stopped eating hard food as well. But this time the pain was unbearable, it did not let me sleep or eat. Even strongest painkillers weren't working. I was shaking and crying because of it. It is the first time I have ever felt so much pain. My partner called the dentist in the afternoon but unfortunately it was Friday so the fastest appointment I got was on Monday — I had to get through the whole weekend in pain. And what was about to come was even worse because as a foreigner I do not have a social security and also, I am extremely ashamed of my teeth and terrified of the dentist.

I managed to get the tooth extracted and I got a plan to treat all of my teeth. It was not easy for me at all but luckily the doctor at the clinic spoke English and was very gentle with me, like with a little kid. I would really love to continue my treatment as I got a whole plan with a map of my teeth — another one needs to be extracted as well but right now my priority is that my mouth heals and the infection is gone. I got antibiotics and a mouthwash for that.

TW: my gum after extraction below

In the table you can see that the extraction, consultation and rtg cost me €210 in total, I was only able to afford it due to help from my partner's dad. Then there are more expenses. I understand that people have much worse problems than cavities although you must know that a lot of health problems are related to those with teeth as well. I also suffer from chronic pain daily — migraines, endometriosis and most likely Ehlers-danlos syndrome as I get joint and back pain all the time. I still get treated for my mental illness (depression and borderline personality disorder) as well so it is just a lot for me.

We live in a very small apartment with my lovely rescue dog named Tosia and a few African snails which I love, we try to save most money we can but it is a neighbourhood close to Geneva that is a very expensive city. My mom cannot afford to help me here as she lives alone in my home country and my brother just passed away this April. I am hoping to find a babysitting job soon as it is the only experience I have but it takes a long time. I do not speak French yet. For now I would appreciate any help I can get from you. I would love to eat without a toothache again, I would love to smile soon, if I get my front teeth treated. I know I will probably need veneers as well and I will be thinking of getting a bridge, a crown or a dental for my missing tooth (and teeth, soon). It is not in the table yet, for now the priority is to gain my health back. Thank you so much for your understanding.

Update 1: Today (November 10) I got my first teeth cleaning done! It was very important to me for my future cavity treatment. I am very pleased with the results, as you can see!

Update 2: From bad news, last night (November 19) I woke up feeling a small object in my mouth. It turned out to be the tooth that was due for extraction.

It broke somewhat in half in my sleep, and I am very disappointed because I was following my dental care very strictly. But I know it was very damaged. I just started my job this week and I do not have enough money to get the rest of it removed as I am scared it will get infected soon. I need your help now even more than ever...