You probably know someone suffering from depression or bipolar disorder. What help can you offer? Don Jaffe, of the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill, gives this sage advice: "Don't confuse the illness with the sick; on the contrary, hate the illness, but love the sick."

A woman named C.C.V did exactly that: she showed love and patience to her mother who 7 years ago was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease.

She suffered from bipolar disorder and yet she cared for her ailing mother at home. At times, she literally couldn't stand me being around her." Instead of abandoning my friend, I researched to find out as much as I could about bipolar disorder. "I now realise how much my friend's behaviour has been affected by her illness," she says, believing that working hard to understand the sufferer can be very rewarding. "It helps you to love and appreciate more the wonderful man behind the illness".

I try to protect her by using initials only, it is not easy for her what she is going through and has been through.

When the sufferer is a family member, wholehearted support is fundamental.

Support from the Christian congregation

The Bible exhorts Christians to 'speak comforting comforting words to depressed souls and be longsuffering to all' (1 Thessalonians 5:14). How can we do this? First of all, it is important to understand the distinction between a mental and a spiritual illness. For example, the biblical writer James showed that prayer can do good to the spiritually suffering (James 5:14, 15). However, Jesus specified that those suffering from a physical illness need a doctor (Matthew 9:12). Of course, it is appropriate and helpful to pray to Jehovah for every concern, including our health (Psalm 55:22; Philippians 4:6, 7). But the Bible does not say that increased Christian activity will solve present health problems.

Therefore, discerning Christians will not imply that depressed sufferers are responsible for their own suffering. Such remarks would be no more helpful than those made by Job's false comforters (Job 8:1-6). The reality is that in many cases the depressed person's condition will not improve unless he or she receives medical treatment, particularly if the person is severely depressed.

However, there are many things Christian co-workers can do to offer support. Of course, patience is needed. For example, some aspects of Christian work can be very daunting for those with a mood disorder. C.C.V., a bipolar sufferer, says: "It's a real struggle, it's hard for me to share the good and uplifting news in the Bible with others when inside I feel neither good nor happy."

To be of real help to the sick, try to show empathy (1 Corinthians 10:24; Philippians 2:4). Try to see things through the patient's eyes, not your own. Don't expect too much from him, because he will feel burdened.

I wish I could continue to help and support my friend from the abuses of state bodies and neighbours who only stigmatise and judge her, marginalising her and violating her rights!

I wish for her to have access to the support she needs to get back on her feet, to pick herself up from the ground and protect herself from the abuses of today and the future.

Thank you for every small gesture of support!

What you will read below is not a medical essay, a page of literature or a therapeutic technique. It is the raw chronicle of a few days when a young woman from Bucharest lost touch with reality, going from a functioning human being to a patient forcibly locked in a psychiatric ward. It is a personal indictment written with the meticulousness and desperation of a man who wants to understand what is happening to him. We publish this testimony in the hope that it will reach the right people. And these people are the tens of thousands of Romanians threatened by severe depression and psychotic episodes, their families, doctors and nurses in psychiatric hospitals.

In Romania, a mental problem can mean the beginning of the end: a person with an illness in this spectrum is misunderstood by friends and family and left in nobody's care. He becomes a burden on society, invisible as he walks down the street with a blank stare, insignificant to the authorities, a nuisance to his own and a non-citizen.

When you have a mental illness, you can go, in a matter of weeks, from a free, normal man with ambitions and plans for the future, to a madman involuntarily hospitalised, not understanding what is happening to him, sedated and bed-bound, which was not the case with me being a daily visitor. But I can't comment in other cases if the sick have no-one, considered a danger to society. Then you are thrown back out into the wide world again , buoyant, if not still psychotic. Because of overcrowding, because of the failings of the system, people with mental illness are sent back into society without much explanation or certainty. Cured or not, they are discharged straight into the arms of their families who, more often than not, refuse or fail to understand them. There is minimal counselling or support programmes. You leave the hospital with a prescription and that's about it.

Few people really know how to detach from reality and end up in a psychiatric ward.

Her story begins 9 years ago when her father passed away, then she had a severe depression. A year later we met. C.C.V a handsome man and animal lover, we have two bichon puppies and a new addition a kitten that was found on the street. He was in the labour field when we met a cheerful and active man a very quiet and warm nature.

Shortly afterwards her mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and from this began her physical, mental and material decline. Then the pandemic hit, which affected us all. Struggling with Alzheimer's disease, caring for the old lady at home being the only parent left alive, her being the only child, was a difficult thing to manage even for a healthy person. What's sad about this disease is that you know who the person next to you affected by Alzheimer's was but they don't know anymore. And even sadder when she no longer recognises you as a daughter, because there were days when she would come crying to me telling me that her mother no longer recognised her and asking her..but who are you calling my daughter C.C.V!!!! Lately she had fallen into bed, needing IV's and pampers!

The only big consolation for her being the puppies we have and the newest member a cat found on the street when he was little. The cat also being a great help to her mum as therapy keeping her somewhat active at present being around her all the time. And a little Prichindel, a baby sparrow that couldn't fly too adopted for a while, you can watch videos of him below. This nightmare for her lasted 7 years and a bit until January this year when her mum suddenly left us.

What leaves a bitter taste, is what happened after her mum's death, her going into a deep depression and triggering her illness that she had. A total lack of empathy, understanding, help, support and totally inhumane behaviour towards C.C.V. from the authorities, the homeowners' association and the neighbours!

The police intervention and the procedure applied to her just because she has a diagnosis regardless of anything else leaves you speechless!

At the time of her mother's death, she was forcibly admitted to the psychiatric hospital, taken away in handcuffs assuming she was a public danger, her mother thrown in a black bag and taken to the IML, house seized! The man she had been struggling with for the last 7 years. The authorities reasoning that this is procedure, for 1% of cases this is how we do it!!!!

After 5 days she was discharged so we could attend to her mother's funeral, she was the only family member.

The sequestration remaining for a few more weeks, no access to papers, clothes personal things, moreover if she was not with me where did she live after discharge, did not and does not interest anyone! Then the seizure was lifted but she had not completely managed to get over her depression, two more police interventions followed based on complaints from neighbours and the homeowners association. The treatment of these people going through this disease is applied in unison to all those affected, the authorities not taking into account anything else but the diagnosis!

The first law enforcement intervention was effectively ripping her out of the house she was not aggressive to anyone and the second taken after the street walking the dog based on diagnosis and complaints from neighbours only, not being a danger to anyone or herself! At the first intervention she was discharged by the hospital board on the grounds that she was In a mixed episode and at the second she was involuntarily admitted involuntarily to the psychiatric hospital as per the law in force. The total lack of communication between the authorities, neighbours and people's different situations can leave serious scars and after-effects on people affected by this illness.

How you can help

Every donation, big or small, brings me closer to the goal of this campaign. If you want to get in touch, have any questions or for more information you can contact me at

[email protected]

I never imagined I would ask for help like this but this amount and situation is way beyond what I or my family can manage alone at the moment.

With your help there is a real chance.

Thank you for being here, for reading our story and for any support you can offer.

With much gratitude,

Cristian Laurențiu Stoica