When I was five years old, my mum and dad got divorced. My mum hates cold weather, so she decided to move to Thousand Oaks (California). I haven’t seen her or heard her voice for 35 years. I only have a few vague memories, as I’m seriously ill. (Prostate cancer) so it’s impossible for me to buy a ticket there; my dad doesn’t care, he wouldn’t even contribute 20 kronor; I have six siblings. They’ve all got to see Mum. But they don’t think of me. My mum is very old – 94 years old. And she’s not coming back to Sweden, even though she has her children here. I mostly feel like a victim. She’s never called to say happy birthday, not even on Christmas Eve, but the other children always get a call. I almost always feel down; I just want a normal family. But I’ll probably never see my mum again. I heard from someone in the family that she’s refused to move back home. So I’ve had to fend for myself since I was 13. Dad worked almost every night shift. When he wasn’t working, he’d get drunk and hit me because I missed Mum. I’d have liked to see her one last time. If I don’t die before then. Back to the hospital in Malmö tomorrow; I’m not living a dignified life. I google different ways to commit suicide every day, but first I want to see Mum and ask her why she’s doing this to me. I can’t take it anymore. I don’t believe that strangers will try to get me a ticket to the US. But if that were to happen, I wouldn’t know where to go. Maybe stay there and die there. If Mum wants me there, that is. My sister has just lost her 13-year-old son. He had a fatal illness that only three people in the world have. And it hit the family hard. I’m not considered family, even though I want to be. I can’t write any more now; the tears are just flowing. I’m only giving this one go, so at least I’ve tried. And if there are people out there who want to help me, I’ll be absolutely delighted. I’m only 39 and have cancer and loads of other illnesses. The doctor reckons I’ve got a year at most, absolutely no more. I’ll be turning 40 on 14 February, Valentine’s Day, and is it too much to ask to celebrate it with my mum and also my little brother, who’s lived in the US his whole life and is two years younger than me? I’d like to thank everyone reading this and contributing so much. My plan is to have everything sorted by sometime in January so I can book a ticket and a hotel or motel. Mum isn’t to know I’m coming. I want to see how she reacts. My friends, I’m off to bed now. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that there are some kind people out there who’d like to help me. Have a lovely day, everyone