Hi. I would like to sign up for a course to learn the power of Manifestation.

The Law of Attraction

Identifying my blockages. Self-healing. Wanting to move closer to my children, who live in the country. It's so quiet and peaceful there compared to here. I have 2 daughters and a son, who I love more than anything on earth! They have been insisting that I have to get away from where I live now, because it's not safe here and I can't look after my grandchildren here. And I understand that very well and fully respect that! So I look after them at their house. Let's have fun 😊.

I want to be happy and strong and be able to help my loved ones with different things and also people who struggle with thoughts, anxiety, anger, addiction but who are unable to go out the door or talk to health personnel, or other agencies that they would like to contact, but cannot. I can be the one who helps in such a difficult and vulnerable situation. And without having to charge. I have helped people before with different things. I have also bought food for someone, without asking for anything in return. I remember that it gave me a good and warm feeling and gratitude. Others that people looked down on, I greeted them and could strike up a conversation too. If I had any money on me, I always gave a penny. Something I have never forgotten was when I heard that when someone talked about me and did not remember or know my name, they explained it like this: She who always smiles so nicely and always says hello. Oh her yes, people could say then. It was so touching to hear and I must say that it was a wonderful feeling that there was actually someone who recognized me. I remember growing up with it. This was before, I myself went under. I have always looked after dogs for others before too. The last 2 years I have thought more and more about how nice it could be with a dog. One who wants me as a mother and I get company and knows well what it does to my health and psyche. It is such medicine for the soul and my well-being when I look after a dog. And then I get out every day too. I don't enjoy going on walks alone. It is so lonely. I want to visit family without having to be anxious and I want to be at gatherings such as baptisms, confirmations, weddings, birthdays, Christmas celebrations and join trips that I am asked to. And I want to be able to afford doctor's appointments, specialists, ophthalmologist, possibly glasses, dentist. I want to be able to buy all the healthy food, such as fish, white meat, fruit, vegetables etc etc. too expensive for us, who live alone in Norway! I pay almost as much in rent for my small apartment, compared to a family who owns their apartment and pays both a loan and rent! Norway is rich, but the inhabitants are unfortunately poor! Many and long queues in front of food distributions in the larger cities. I have run out of food, hygiene products and medicines many times, because unfortunately there is not enough money. I can't remember the last time I had Christmas food or anything at Easter or on other holidays! I chose to stay home at Christmas up to 5 times, because I always lacked Christmas presents for someone. And it was always painful. No one in my family knows this. I said I was asked away. I have never been able to go to such food distributions, because I feel like a beggar and am not worth anything as a person and also because when I was growing up, I never had anyone who taught me that I could ask for things. I learned that you should never ask others to get some food, drink or an apple, because that was begging. And it's still so deep in me, so I can't handle it. I was very lonely as a child. I had no one to play with until we moved and I was 10 years old. Mom and Dad loved me, but they were young and ignorant. They were hard workers, which of course paid off in the end. They were financially sound and that helped me and my brothers and our children again and now great-grandchildren a lot. I got what I wanted and much more. And I'm so grateful for that! But it didn't teach me to understand emotions or what life really is and what you can do to have faith in yourself and be happy with yourself. I remember almost nothing of my life before I was 10 years old.

Neither classmates, teachers nor the children in the kindergartens nor the staff. From the 4th grade onwards, I remember more. Was excluded, bullied and made fun of. Because I was withdrawn and very shy. If others have not punished me, then I have done it myself, unconsciously! Today At the age of 57 I have gotten to know myself and have reflected a lot about myself and the surroundings around me and put together part of my puzzle. I have also started a private autobiography, which when I read it, it is as if I have not written it. I have thought a little about, what if I succeed in writing a book, in publishing it? Earn money. When my children were small, I wanted to write a fairy tale book. I loved reading fairy tales and singing with my children. And I would love to do that with my grandchildren too. 2 girls, 1 1/2 years old and 2 1/2 years old. I have to say that I slowly started hoping for a better life after becoming a Grandma. But.. now there was a lot here. I don't know what to keep here and what to take away? Ok. If I delete everything here now, I know that I will never go back here.

This allows me to start a new life with good health, be present for my children and grandchildren, my parents, my brothers, nieces, nephews and be able to contact the best friend in the world, who I once had, whom I let down and whom I miss very much. Everyone has seen me maybe 2__3 times a year. Sometimes it has been more than a year. My parents lost me for many years. I know they have cried and so have I. Always struggled with a terrible bad conscience towards everyone else. I have closed myself in and everyone else out, of my life, since about 12 years ago! It is so sad that you MUST have money to be able to get well. You must have money to get help to find diagnoses of what is wrong with you. It is so sad that money means everything, when it absolutely should not be like that!. If anyone wants to help me, I will be very grateful! Even though I now feel embarrassed and humiliated by myself, I ask for the first time in my life: Will you/will you help me? Yours sincerely, Heidi