Hello everyone,

I am a 39-year-old single mum with two children aged 10 and 13. My youngest’s father and I divorced after he fell ill. I had my life with the children well organised. No financial problems and the three of us were happy.

Two years ago, I met someone I thought was the love of my life. He was someone with a heavy burden of past problems, including mental health issues, but he said he had changed, and I wanted to give him a fair chance because everyone deserves a second chance. As he didn’t have a place to live, we moved in together quite quickly. He was on benefits and had his finances managed by an administrator; I had a job. Because of his mental health issues, he did try to get a job (off the books), but he messed it up every time, so no money came in. He received 50 euros a week for living expenses, and I covered the rest of the costs. I had saved a bit when I was on my own – not a lot, but enough to ensure the children didn’t go without.

After we’d been together for a few months, he started drinking more and more and even went back to using drugs. Before I met him, he’d kicked the habit in a clinic. Gradually, all my savings were used up. Groceries and bills have become considerably more expensive since the pandemic, but his cocaine use was also increasing. If it started to wear off before he went to sleep, or if I said there was no money left, it would escalate into domestic violence, which my children have unfortunately witnessed on several occasions. The police have been called a few times to arrest him for serious assault. He still has to appear in court for this. He threatened to hurt me if I didn’t pay the bills back.

And how stupid of me to do that. I loved him but was also afraid of him. And my children loved him too, but were also afraid at times. I tried to keep everyone happy and ensure things stayed calm at home. Unfortunately, I often failed to do so. There was a contact and location ban in place for my safety and that of the children, which he regularly breached. He is now wanted by the police for breaching the location ban when he smashed my window. Several organisations are now involved with my family, including for the children.

The thing is, I’m now behind on my rent and my energy bills. I’m working myself and I can easily pay the monthly bills, but I don’t earn enough to meet the payment plan proposed by the bailiff. I could go into debt counselling, in which case someone else would manage my money and pay off the debts, and we would receive a living allowance. But because I have always been able to look after us well, that is the last thing I want. I am already in talks with my employer about working more hours so that we have a higher income.

I hope there are people who are willing to help me and the children so that we don’t have to go into debt counselling. And so that I can start building a life again together with my children. All three of us are traumatised by everything that has happened. And we don’t want to lose our little home on top of that. This is the house where the children were born, because after the divorce I was allowed to stay in this rented home. If we lose our home, I’ll lose my children too, and that is, of course, something no mother wants.

I’m trying my very best, but I can’t manage it on my own. My relationship with my family has deteriorated because of this situation, so I can’t ask them for help either.

WOULD YOU PLEASE HELP US?

We would be incredibly grateful, and we would like to thank every donor (if you’re happy with that) privately with a message, email or phone call. That way, you can be sure the money has gone to the right place. I can also send you proof of the arrears that have built up.