My ex-partner and I spit in 2020, during Covid. He, very much hurt in his pride, swore revenge against me. Our daughter was 4 at that time. He and his mother threatened me, blackmailed me and made me sign a legal document which was very disadvantageous for me, they practically made me resign from my daughter. At that time I didn’t see any other way than to sign this document, and later fight it in front of court. Our first child custody lawsuit started in 2020, and ended in April 2023. During this time I could only see my daughter twice a week and two weeks in the summer. My ex and his mother alienated her from me severely during this time. My ex made up lies about me at court, describing me as the worst mother in the world, he took our child to doctors and had her say lies about imaginary injuries, so that he could elongate the lawsuit and keep our daughter with him as long as possible. The court-assigned psychologist’s report showed the severe parental alienation, so the court gave me the sole custody despite all my ex’s claims. My ex did not become a weekend-father. He can see our daughter 3 days in a week, so they meet a lot. After the end of the first lawsuit, he started a new lawsuit, again fighting for the sole custody of our child. After I got custody (May 2023), our daugther suddenly started sabotaging studying at school. She was in second grade, primary school. All the teachers were stunned. A formerly excellent student is asked to live with mommy again, and finishes the work at her classes. She sitting there as a zombi, not making eye-contact, not answering questions, not reacting to the warnings of the teachers (you are going to fail this class, if you don’t study). She sabotaged studying for 8 whole months. After having been placed to me (May 2023), she peed her bed for 12 months. In the first month, it was because of anxiety, after that on purpose. It was obvious. The father turned her against me and against being placed to me so much, that she needed a pychiatrist’s help at that time.

I am sure that it was my ex who ordered her to stop studying at school. He needed ‘evidence’ for court, to be able to prove that it was a bad decision from the court to have placed our child to my custody. I quote from his submitted document: ‘Ever since our daughter was placed to her, so DURING HER SOLE CUSTODY, our child’s school performance deteriorated so much that she almost failed second grade.’ I knew what was going on, because during the first lawsuit, so from 2021-2023 April, he kept questioning our daughter about all the time spent with me, and he kept prescribing, stipulating her things. Such as: she shouldn’t take public transportation with me (she could get COVID), then she shouldn’t take my car (made up a lie, why not), she should only go to the huge park which is 20 minutes walk from his place (and followed on each time, making video recordings of me and my daughter from hill – he was caught, that’s how I know), and in the last year, 2022, he ordered her not go leave my apartment all summer. We spent two weeks in the hot summer, closed in a studio apartment. Not going out anywhere. My daughter came up with lies when I asked her about why she doesn’t want to go out (you’re evil, you’re hitting me, etc). This is still on, our daughter will still not leave the apartment. We are in the middle of the second custody lawsuit. To this day, my ex-partner is doing everything he can to take my little girl away from me. Although I can see a silver lining, my daughter started to turn back to me from April last year in a fast pace (that’s when she ended the bed wetting), and on order of my ex she started to study at school (from May last year), unfortunately my ex and his mother won’t stop turning her against me. We take 3 steps forward, and 2 steps back. Each time I receive her back from the father, my formerly kind child becomes hostile to me again. She is acting out like a 15-year-old would, saying things like ‘I wish I could kick your teeth out’, or ‘I wish you hadn’t been born at all’.

For five years, the father and his mom have been alienating her from me in an extreme way, and for five years he has been preventing her from receiving psychological help. Now he also managed to arrange with the guardianship case that our daughter attends a distant primary school, which means that she travels two hours and I travel four hours a day. At the moment I don't see how I can change jobs, and I earn much less in 4 hours a day (as much as I can work now) than I should. I work for a webshop, and the management is very kind to put up with me working in 4 hours only and sometimes missing for a whole day because of court sessions, or writing submissions to the court. It seems like a second job, it takes so much time (especially the documents I need to write to the court). The Russo-Ukrainian war is having an effect on us as well (we are in Hungary), everything costs twice as much as approx. 4 years ago. I am looking for a solution to pay the costs of the second civil lawsuit, that is why I decided to share my story with you, I want to raise money for this.

I am quite confident that my ex and his mother have a narcissistic personality disorder, they enjoy torturing me and do not see any fault with torturing, mentally distroying our child as well in the process. I cannot take my dauthter to a state psychologist, because my ex sabotaged that, too. I haven’t found a private psychologist yet for her yet, because there is a shortage of them, and most of them are not experts on PAS, and they decline me, won’t take the case.

If I don’t win the second lawsuit, I cannot keep my daughter. This will mean that my ex will keep her away from me, will not bring her to me even on my legal, court-prescribed days, because he has no respect towards the law (he has proved it during the last 5 years). He will alienate her so much that she won’t want to be with me at all. The police and the court are practically useless in enforcing the rights of the parent who doesn’t have the sole custody. Please help me pay the lawsuit. So far, the two lawsuits have cost me EUR 12,000 which is a lot in terms of Hungarian salaries. All donations are very much appreciated, no matter how little!