Hi, my name is Maja and I come from Slovenia, from the capital city Ljubljana.

At the age of 22, I was unfortunately diagnosed with Schizophrenia and I am an artist - a Painter. (I don't have a diploma from Art University, I have no mentors, I am self taught painter)

After so many years of hard struggles, and poverty I decided from two justified reasons, to start a recurring fundraiser for myself and my best friend, my cat Felix. First reason is being schizophrenic and second is being an artist - paniter. At a very young age, where everything just starts to happen for us, young adulthood, I got sick from Schizophrenia. It is one of the most difficult mental diseases. For us mental patients, not just in my country Slovenia, but it's quite common all around the globe - things are not arranged and we are not taken care of by the system of government. For the first 5 years, from 2008 when I was diagnosed and hospitalized until 2014, I was tirelessly trying with jobs, employment. Of course no one expects that being diagnosed with schizophrenia will turn your life for the worst. And the life you tried before will not be the same. After years of struggles with jobs, I realized, this disease is here to stick with me. With great help of psychiatrists I rested my case, I had to understand it's not me, it's simply that I am sick and lower my expectations, adjust my life to my condition. It's not me being lazy, or incapable of employment. It's simply the consequences and price that schizophrenia brings with it. It's not just being lazy, but this is a serious neurological condition - and makes a patient disabled in many areas, because of damaged cognitive function, irregular sleep patterns, chronic anxiety, also some phobias and mainly lower functioning. It doesn't mean that I am crazy, or that I have split personality (this itself is a completely separate diagnosis), or that I am stupid. In my country (Slovenia) there is no possible way for me to get disability retirement, because the rules are extremely strict (you really have to be "half dead" so that the committee for disabilities and retirement mercy you and give you status). Because I am not completely damaged by schizophrenia and I am also not healthy and capable of work, I am stuck somewhere in the middle and like so many other schizophrenics, I am being redirected on social benefit. Which is horrible, I was living now for 10 years on approx. 400eur/per month. It's the amount a person can not survive on. But, maybe in all of that there is a blessing, and I started painting ever since I was diagnosed (2008) so until this day I was pursuing art, painting and creating with all my heart. Sometimes I sell some paintings. The problem is if you are on social welfare, there is no amount of money you can recieve on your transaction account - if you do, the welfare is taken away from you. Because it is understood that if you have funds to survive by yourself, then you don't need social welfare. So here is this, vicious complicated circle I am twisting around and its exhausting, so much stress every month just to survive. Just to keep creating and just to find resorfull ways to survive. If I sell a painting for example 400 eur or 500 eur, my benefit is lower significantly for 6 months (receiving just 100eur per month) or sometimes they completely cancel it. Just because of one amount of painting sold. (I would absolutely understand if painting I sell would be for higher amounts, example few thousand euros, but it is not. And also I dont sell my works constantly, so my money doesnt flow regulary form art at all.) With this amount I can not get through for half a year, in no way possible. I pay taxes, and I declare every purchase from my art - but like I say, it's a vicious cycle.

What will I use my money for?

First of all, the basics: Food (groceries), bill for mobile phone and costs in my apartment (water, gas, electricity...) and Felix's food (kibbles, wet food, cat litter) and cigarettes. That's just the basics.

But life happens, and it's almost impossible to predict things. Sometimes some things in my apartment break down and I need to get them fixed (for example washing machine breaks, or I need new light bulbs, or I have to call a plumber..), then there are clothes in changing seasons. Winter,Summer... Every year I need shoes, clothes, sometimes a new winter jacket. As a woman, not to mention cosmetic products, that are necessary (shampoos, shower gels, period pads, etc) Also for me to keep creating, material for painting. Sometimes I really like to bake, it relaxes me and I love creating, but nothing extravagant or excesesive. (Usually Holidays, Christmas time or Easter) Also my apartment, all these 18 years of my struggles I have never invested anything (the floor is badly damaged for example) you simply can not buy things for an apartment or try to fix what's broken, if you don't even have for yourself to eat.  But this is most important: Over these 18 years, there have been so many of my friends, acquaintances, neighbours.. that have helped me financially through my struggles, and I really desperately want to pay back to everyone who helped me. Besides help from friends, neighbours, acquaintances, there are also some bills that I desperately need to pay, and are waiting to be paid for quite some time. There are different amounts, but gradually I hope I will manage. If there will be any extra amount of your donations - first thing goes to return my friends and acquaintances the money I owe, when they helped me through my darkest times. And are still extremly empathetic towards me and so understanding. They know my situation, my struggles and never turn their back on me, which I appriciate so much, words can not explain. I don't have any loans, leases or limits in any bank or pawshop and I am not in any official bankruptcy.

I would also like to mention that I have some diagnosis beside Schizophrenia: PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome), and a difficult skin disease Hidradentis Suppurtiva and sadly I have been wetting my bed ever since I was a child. (nocturnal incontinence). These diagnoses also bring costs, since our health insurance does not cover anything of that. For my skin disease I need antibacterial creams, to prevent infections, and larger bandages when flairs burst out. (You can Google it of course, but do not have a meal while googling, it is extremly disgusting and unaesthetic to see.) What considers PCOS, the most difficult side effect is hirsutism - which means i am very hairy, and I do not have money to go waxing in cosmetic saloons. But thats not all. PCOS brings obesity, boldnes over head over time, skin acne, insulin intolerance, and absence of periods very frequently. (PCOS is a whole spectrum for itself, so it takes quite a lot from a person) My skin dissease HS its complicating things with waxing because my skin is extra sensitive, so I can use just one form of waxing. Wetting a bed from childhood is not "cheap". I am washing sheets and comforters every weekend, which means more laundry detergent needed than normally, and of course, textile gets used and worn out, every year I need to buy new. So, these diagnoses also bring expenses. (I also need to take food supplements, D-vitamin, B-komplex, Chromium and Omega3) It all adds up, financially always a challenge how to maintain buying that and trying to take care of my health.

My plan is trying to survive from donations, because all other resources are impossible or have been drained out in 18 years. (I can not count on the help of my friends forever, they also have reached their limit. It's only human.) As a mental patient like I said I can not get disability retirement, also because (beside committee for disability retirement being extremely strict) in my country you need appropriate "working ages" to be able to get disability retirement, because it depends on how many years you were employed and working. Us, schizophrenics usually get sick and diagnosed at a young age, so I was not employed that time. It's very typical for all of us with mental diseases. You also have to know, as a single, without children,or family my options for humanitarian organisations and help are always declined. On the Red Cross I am entitled to 5 items every month (2kg of flour, 1kg pasta, oil, can of tomato and beans) and that's all. (It's how it is in my city, I know for a fact elsewhere is much better. Many people told me during these years. But there is nothing I can do, I belong to my city Ljubljana, and can not get help from organisations in other cities, other districts. It's just a fact.) The help is always targeted on children, familys, children with needs or rare diagnosis, and every now or then blind and disabled. I think I am quite correct when I say, you will never see a charity event for mental patients, or a charity concerts, projects... and never for schizophrenics, even though there is 1% of people diagnosed with schizophrenia in the world. The number is not small at all. So, my goal is to try to live out of donations here. Its understood that my social benefit will be canceled (I can not receive both), so It is super important that I will be able to pay my health insurance (I am taking 10 different pills every day, for all my diagnoses, and without insurance the prices of these medications are skyrocketing) and most probably 25% of TAX for amount from donations I will get every month. Yes, it's not easy, but I have to keep fighting and trying to help myself, no one will do it for me. I have been financially undernourished for 18 years,and I am truly tired, all I am trying is just to survive and help myself - no one knows how it is living on 234 eur of social welfare, or now last years (the inflation regulation) on only 400,oo eur. only those who are like me or in similar situations can empathys. And I wish it would be my fault, they say it all depends on us in life - but its not. I didnt choose to get schizophrenia, and despite the fact that I have it, I am being resurcefull as much as I can and keeping my hopes up. Overall, even if I am not raising enough money to live just from donations, any euro, any kind of money absolutely will help. To help me get through a month.

The truth is, even if my schizohrenia would get better to the point I would no longer need medications, or after so many years of treatment I somehow would be cured, I started suffering in High School and I havent finnished it. I only have basic education (elementary school) , and apprx. 20 years of unemployment. I truly am devoted to Art, and I will continue regarding any changes that might come. Its who I am, its what I do. Its necessery to understand I havent been working for almost 20 years, (because of schizophrenia) and have no education. I started my Art in 2009, when 22 years old and I am going to continue.

All these 18 years since I have been diagnosed were truly a hell and immense struggles. Before, this platform wasn't so widespread or known, but I made it to here. In these years, there has also been a period of years that I was begging for coins on the street just to survive in my city.I have never been in any criminal activities at all, any prostitution, frauds, scamms,...and I also do not drink alcohol, i don't take any kind of drugs (not even smoking marihuana) - my soft spot are cigarettes and coffee. I really love Coffee. I want you to know that, so you have a chance to step back from donating to me if you hate smokers or if you are someone whose rule is - if you don't have money you can not be buying cigarettes. It's quite a common belief, but unfortunately, 85% of schizophrenics smoke, because it's not just adiction of a habit - it helps us with medications we're taking, antipsychotics - it helps with strong side effects they bring. I am very grateful, given the fact that 60% to 70% of schizophrenics, because of the nature of the disease itself, excessively drink alcohol and take amphetamines, or other drugs. It's not because they are bad people, it's because of the immense burden schizophrenia brings. (being constantly nervous, chronic anxiety is almost a must, ..)

In 2017, there was a little happiness, who came in front of my door. And it was my cat Felix. (He is male cat). He was a 4 months old kitten. Even given the fact that I was completely without money, it was just fate and I decided to keep him. I still consider that one of most unrational and dangerous decisions, but also one of the best ones in my life. (I didnt even had money for myself, not mentioning a pet) He is my best friend, and I am a very responsible owner. Felix is taken care of completely, he has veterinarian check ups regularly and is fully vaccinated. (regularly de-wormned and flea treatments, but he has none of that) He doesn't eat the best food (for example the most expensive organic premium cat food..etc, I do not exagerate, although I love him unconditionaly), but he also is not receiving the cheapest and the lowest quality. His food is quality one, mixing wet and dry kibbles - and since he is mostly indoor cat I watch to maintain his weight, so he doesn't falls into obesity. I am a big animal lover, and advocate of saying if you don't have an intention of taking care of a dog or a cat like your family - don't get them at all! I always make sure he has everything, and as a "crazy cat mom" - we always celebrate his birthday hehe. So, therefore, your donations are not just for me, there are also for Felix, to buy him food, cat litter, and since life is what life is - if something happens and I need him to get him to a vet, if something is wrong, the bills from vet can be quite expensive. But that doesn't stop me at all, (thinking about money) - Felix is my priority. Allways. I wish you would know what a good boy he is. He is truly my treasure, he is the best cat and the best friend you could imagine.

Maybe you are wondering about my family.

I have no support, because I am deeply misunderstood. Mental illnesess, are many time the reason - familys, marriages, friendships,fall apart. It's just how it is, its reality. All my sisters are more popular with my parents but I am not. But I have a strong bond with my grandma, I am deeply attached to her, and my Felix of course. She helps me as much as she can, but I really try to not put pressure on her, she is very old and her retirement amount is very low. My father, mother.. they really dont care if I live or die. I am not the only one with situation like that. Its unfortunatly very usual with mental patients - not understood and facing a lot of judgment. It improtant to know, if someone breaks a leg, or suffers a stroke, or has cancer - people give insaine empathy and understanding, and are always ready to help. But schizophrenia is extremly complicated, and for example, I have problems with circadial sleep rythm, my biorithym is switching. Many times up all night, and sleeping during teh day. For me, I put crazy a lot effort to uptain and not taking sleeping pills and similar pills - because they are extremly dangerious, so I adapt. But how other see it, is simply: "just go to bed earlier or wake up before noon!" And there you have it, sleeping through the day : "she is just so lazy, unresponsible, just lazy , she doesnt deserve anything in this life." I gave you an example just for one of the symptoms - sleeping patterns. There sooo much more about schizophrenia, but people do not understand. (dont get me even started about relapses) Some acssually feel that you are making them dumb, and trying to convince them something that is a lie - and usually they react very sharp, agresivelly. (perfect example is my father) So I strive alone, with great help and empathy from my friends. I truly believe I would not be still on this planet earth without great support of friends, neighbours and some acquaintances. I probably really have an amazing guardian angel. 

If not supporting me as a struggling mental - patient,

Support me as an artist - painter. 

I am sincerely deeply grateful for any donation you give me.

Not even 1 eur isn't little to me. I appreciate every cent, every euro, there is no rule. To me, someone who helps with little, is not appreciated less, at all. Over so many years of struggles and also begging on the streets, it's important to know we should be gratefull in life for all small things. I am going to keep you posted regularly to all who will donate. And what considers the platform itself 4Fund, I was communicating with them a month before I launched this fundraiser of mine. To check and get all the answers to my questions. For all the things and facts I am writing about I have all the proof and the platform keeps my documents. Since money, or especially raising money is a very delicate and sensitive subject, I can assure you - your donations will not be spent on a new car (I don't even have a driver's license) or holidays to Maldives/Bahamas/Hawaii, or drugs/alcohol, new iPhone..etc. The money I am raising is exactly for the things I mentioned. To help me survive and live. I consider myself an honest person. Most of the time, all the time actually, I am home alone with Felix - so no other fancy or luxurious needs/things are necessary. From time to time I am also planning to put for auction my paintings, works I will do in the future. So I can really give something in return, and try to help myself as much as I can. (keep updated with me, to catch the auction when it will be available. Maybe the painting will call you, and move you, and maybe you would like to buy it)

Last important detail:

If there will be any extra donations, I will try my best to help and donate to others in need and struggling. I know that there is many of them who cannot fight and are enable to help themselves. Not only schizophrenics, we all know there is a wide spectrum of people in distress. It doesnt mean I will donate only to my people in my country (Slovenia), it means if possible I might donate to other fundraisings here or world wide. But of course, ist only normal to know - I am not talking about large amounts of money. (small symbolic sums) Clearly I have a fundraiser for myself to help me survive. Its who I am, I am generous and I am very sensitive to other peoples struggles - because I know exactly how hard it is.

Every help makes a diffrence. I am well awear of this.

You can see my Artwork (Paintings) here:

https://artopolis.si/@maja_klemencic

My official page on Facebook where you can Follow me:

https://www.facebook.com/majaklemencicart?locale=sl_SI

I am also spreading awareness about Schizophrenia and mental struggles. I had some interviews, talk shows, in the media. Since it is in Slovenian it's probably a problem to understand, but if you are very interested there are some AI Apps that can translate these videos and articles into your language/ or english. You can check contents here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBBFbAGqAmg&t=317s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0O8aiG3lKIw

https://svet24.si/magazin/jana/clanek/vcasih-je-bluzenje-cisto-v-redu-868756

https://navdihni.me/tag/maja-klemencic/

https://spletnicas.com/maja-klemencic-art/

Maja Klemenčič